


We're not okay, but that's fine

by Li_the_Panda



Series: oops my hand slipped [2]
Category: Mother 3, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: (????? idk man claus is ded but he came back so uh), Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Crying, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Angst, Forgiveness, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL OF THIS IS JUST PART OF THE BACKSTORY HOLY SHIT, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Knives, Mental Health Issues, Necromancy, Overdosing, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rated T for swears, Reconciliation, Relationship Study, SMASH 4 DLC FOUND FAMILY LET'S GOOO, Self-Acceptance, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, did i get everything? idk, end of tw list because im stupid and i dont want to rearrange tags, god why are my interests so niche :((, i am the big stoopid i actually forgot that, im sorry i just didnt know how to incorporate it into the story, it takes a while but lucas learns to deal with emotions in a healthy way, it's more of a relationship study than a character study just saying, my tag organization is in tatters help, of sorts, oops my hand slipped, there's no found family tag help, to ppl with sharp eyes, tw time!, yes i retconned nb claus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28560612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Li_the_Panda/pseuds/Li_the_Panda
Summary: War with Galeem broke out, and the Administration commissioned extra fighters to increase fighting power.One of those fighters has a very, very familiar face.Lucas doesn't want to confront the past.
Relationships: Claus & Lucas (Mother 3), My Unit | Corrin & Lucas (Mother 3), no relationship tags for lucas and rest of smash 4 dlc? disappointment, shippers dni stay the fuck away or im stealing your kneecaps
Series: oops my hand slipped [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1964953
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo! im not dead!
> 
> i meant for this to be a one-shot but apparently i cannot write more than 1k words at a time so im splitting this up. pls mind the tags, i put the tw's in there!
> 
> i also projected a little onto lucas oop-
> 
> ive edited this. a solid 4 or 5 times because i always jUST REMEMBER THAT I FORGOT SOMETHING OMG
> 
> edit #5: i fucking. forgot ages.
> 
> lucas and claus are 16  
> roy's 19  
> corrin and kamui are 22  
> cloud's 23  
> mewtwo, bayo, and ryu are same as their respective canons
> 
> just for reference!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> specific tw's for this chap: lucas has a panic attack + a couple of one-off lines that imply/reference s*lf-harm and overdosing. 
> 
> stay safe everyone!

Lucas had no idea why he was here.

Well, he did, actually, but that wasn’t important.

His teammates had been whispering excitedly ever since they received the news that someone new was joining. He couldn’t care less.

~~ He actually did care, because he was lonely, because he needed something,  _ someone,  _ to fill in the empty hole in his heart, but he didn’t think about that. ~~

Currently, he was at the entrance with his seven other teammates  ~~ he lived with seven other people, yet he still felt so alone ~~ ~~,~~ sitting on the front steps to the main building on campus, waiting, waiting.

He tapped his leg, a nervous habit he never got to break from when he was young.  ~~ He didn’t think about who he got it from, didn’t think about ginger hair and bright green eyes and a face that looked exactly like his. ~~

~~ When will he move on? It’s been three fucking years. ~~

A flash of white light from the teleporter. Finally. They can get through introductions and then Lucas can go back inside so he can eat something because he was  _ starving,  _ and-

He made the mistake of looking up.

_ Oh. _

_ Of fucking course. _

_ The universe is never done laughing at me, huh? _

The faint buzz of a psionic’s aura burned faintly in the back of his mind, a presence that was familiar and strange all at once. It helped, because otherwise, Lucas would not have been able to process what he was seeing.

His own face was staring back at him.

The sounds of his friends greeting and introducing themselves to the newcomer  ~~ and the confused noises they made as they looked back at Lucas ~~ was drowned out by the blood rushing to his ears, blood that was both hot and cold at the same time. Lucas was frozen, frozen to his spot sitting on the front steps, frozen in time.

This shouldn’t have been possible. Lucas- Lucas saw him die, he  _ had died in Lucas’s fucking arms,  _ ~~_ left Lucas an absolute mess, had been the cause of breakdowns, so many breakdowns for the past three years- _ ~~

It vaguely registered in Lucas’s mind that he couldn’t breathe. He was thirteen again, standing in that godforsaken underground cavern with the final Needle shining in front of him, and he was shaking and his mouth was so dry he wanted to throw up, the colors of the world were too bright and mixing together and Lucas felt like he was about to fall over-

“Luke?”

Corrin’s voice broke through the noise in his head, unfreezing Lucas, and he promptly bolted.

* * *

Lucas was ten when his mother gave her life to protect him. Lucas was ten when his brother ran away on a suicide mission and went missing. Lucas was ten when his father virtually abandoned him and forced him to grow up by himself.

Lucas was thirteen when he left to find Duster, and also to get away from the harassment and alienation and pain. Lucas was thirteen when he found another family in Kumatora and Duster, even if they couldn’t fully piece his shattered past back together. Lucas was thirteen when he was sucked into something so much larger than himself that he didn’t want anything to do with, he was thirteen when he finally found his brother, who was a mindless machine that self-destructed, and left Lucas behind.  ~~ Lucas was thirteen when his brother left him in pieces, because Claus was exhausted, just like Lucas, only Claus actually had the balls to end it all. ~~

Lucas was fourteen when he first joined the Smash Brothers. Lucas was fourteen when he became social for once in his life, made two good friends in Ness and Red, joined the friend group that was Dorm 3.  ~~ Lucas was fourteen when he started taking sleeping pills because nightmares haunted him as he closed his eyes, he was fourteen when he stopped eating because nothing would stay down anyway, he was fourteen when he started hiding knives in his room. ~~

Lucas was fifteen when he was moved to Dorm 7. Lucas was fifteen when he adjusted to a new dynamic, became friends with new people. Lucas was fifteen when he met Corrin and Kamui , ~~and was instantly reminded of the better days, before his mom died, before everything went to shit. Lucas was fifteen when Cloud walked into his room without knocking, he was fifteen when he was rushed to the hospital wing and had to spend weeks, months in recovery.~~

Lucas was sixteen when the war against Galeem broke out. Lucas was sixteen when he chose to fight  ~~ so he could stay away from Tazmily and Nowhere Islands and all the memories ~~ because it was the right thing to do. 

Lucas was sixteen when he found his brother again for the second fucking time of his life.

* * *

It started with the little things.

Lucas could feel himself regressing, could feel his grip on his emotions and sanity weakening as the days passed. Not much happened the first week Claus was here, but maybe that was because Lucas had been shutting himself in his room whenever possible. He hadn’t even attempted to talk to Claus, and Claus sure wasn’t trying to reconnect either.

It wasn’t until he found himself taking more than the standard two pills per night that he realized how much he was slipping.

He should tell someone. Last year, when he had woken up groggy, confused, and still a little loopy from overdosing, the rest of his team made it clear that they would stick by him no matter what.  ~~ He hates how much he doubts them. ~~

Telling someone meant talking about his childhood.

Two weeks pass. Lucas takes a knife from the kitchen. He doesn’t tell anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

_Eyes are the window to the soul._

Lucas never understood the saying. When he and Claus were younger, around 8 maybe, and heard the phrase for the first time, they immediately held a staring contest to see if it was true.

Claus saw everything in Lucas’s eyes. He saw his younger twin brother’s insecurities, his fears.

Lucas saw nothing in Claus’s eyes.

Lucas tried it again with Fuel. 

Nothing. 

He tried it with the other children, even some of the adults.

Still nothing.

It took a while for Lucas to realize he was the problem. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how hard he searched in other people’s eyes, he saw nothing but a blank gaze.

How ironic that a lifeless robot saw more life in others than an actual person.

Besides, it was easier to read someone by looking at the line of their shoulders, or how tightly they were clenching their hands, or where they were looking. Because emotions show on one’s face in more than just eyes.

~~Lucas wonders what Claus saw in his eyes right before he died. Did he see Lucas’s pain, his grief, how his soul was being torn in half?~~

A knock on his door. Lucas jumped, dropping the bandages he had just taken out of the drawer back in and sliding it shut.

“Come in!”

Corrin slid in, easing the door shut behind her. “Hey, Luke.”

Lucas flopped backwards onto the floor. “Hey, Corry.”

He doesn’t remember when they started referring to each other with their respective nicknames. It was just something the two randomly started doing one day, and it stuck.

~~Lucas never told Corrin the significance of his nickname.~~

Corrin sat down next to him on the floor. Lucas tilted his head slightly so he could see her wine-red eyes, even though he knew he couldn’t find anything in them.

He couldn’t even see anything in one of the most open people on the roster. How pathetic.

They stay like that in a comfortable silence.

“So…”

Corrin shattered it before long, though.

Lucas supposed that if anyone else were looking at her eyes now, they would see concern, confusion, or whatever else Corrin was feeling right now. Lucas saw concern in the furrow of her eyebrows, in the way she clenched and unclenched her hand whenever she was unsure what to do or say.

“About the new teammate…” Corrin was speaking slowly, hesitantly, as if she was expecting Lucas to bolt. Considering the topic of conversation, Lucas couldn’t blame her.

“You wanna ask me about him?” Lucas kept his tone casual. He couldn’t make eye contact with her anymore; he instead focused on the mural he had splattered on the ceiling for personal reasons so long ago. 

“Yup.”

Lucas did not tense. He simply closed his eyes, the bright light of the ceiling lamp burning into his eyelids. “Shoot.”

“He looks a lot like you.”

Lucas hummed noncommittally. “Ok.”

A few minutes of awkward silence. When Corrin didn’t seem like she would continue, Lucas spoke the question that was obviously on her mind.

“So you wanna know why he looks like me?”

“Yeah.”

Lucas inhaled through his nose, exhaled through his mouth. Breathe, just breathe. Don’t think about the fact that the closest thing you have to an older sibling is about to find out about your horrible, horrible past.

“He was my brother.”

There, you said it. You’re just fine!

~~No, I’m not.~~

Lucas didn’t need to open his eyes to know Corrin’s reaction. They’ve practically adopted each other as brother and sister at this point; he didn’t have to open his eyes to know her mouth was hanging open like a beached fish and her eyebrows were knitted together into a platinum scarf. He didn’t have to use his telepathic powers to know that her brain was running at five hundred miles per hour and short-circuiting.

When Corrin spoke again, her voice was soft. “Didn’t he…”

“Die? Yeah.” Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Breathe. “I’ll admit, I don’t know what to feel.”

Another silence.

“Talk to him.”

Lucas’s eyes shot open and he sat up abruptly. “What?”

Corrin’s brows were furrowed, her mouth set in a determined frown. “Talk to him. Reconnect.”

“But I…” Frustration burned the back of Lucas’s throat when he realized he didn’t have a rebuttal. 

“I mean, he’s your brother. You should catch up sometime. There’s so much you can talk about.” 

Lucas stayed silent, stewing in his head.

“Besides, it’s better to let everything out when you still have the time.”

“No.” The word tore itself out of Lucas’s mouth, burning like acid. The stricken look on Corrin’s face stabbed pinpricks in his heart, but there was no way he was taking his answer back.

“No? Why?”

Lucas was horrified to feel the burning in his throat spread, reaching his nose and eyes. He was _not_ going to cry. He shut his eyes again, breathing deeply until the sensation subsided, until he could talk without tears spilling from his eyes.

“He might look like Claus, but my brother died six years ago.” Lucas hated how his voice trembled. “He’s dead, he’s dead and gone and-” He swallowed past a lump forming in his throat. Why did he care so much? Claus may be alive, but Lucas’s brother was dead. Lucas’s brother was dead and he had moved on, simple as that.

~~It’s never that easy.~~

The atmosphere suddenly felt oppressive and heavy. Lucas had to leave. He got on his feet to walk to the door.

“How many pills did you take last night?”

The question made him freeze. 

_~~Tell her. Tell her.~~_

“Two. Just two.”

~~Liar.~~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back after an entire month
> 
> anyway claus pov this chap! sorry if it gets sloppy in places, there are definitely areas that need fixing somewhere, but i wanted to get this out first and foremost
> 
> as for warnings, there's some self-hatred this chap, specifically in regards with how claus views himself and his status as a cyborg

For as long as he could remember, Lucas had always been empty. He was always exhausted emotionally, always on the verge of collapsing. He cried not because he was weak, but because just about anything was enough to send him over the edge. But then again, there wasn’t that much of a difference between the two.

Today, Lucas’s team was being sent on a mission. To Nowhere Islands. Because the universe really liked to make Lucas suffer.

While packing up his things, Lucas lost himself in his thoughts. It was an old habit; he would ponder about fate and philosophy and other metaphysical things. He would go through what-if scenarios, wondering what would change if an event had gone just slightly different. He stopped about a year ago, when he thought he could change, but he was falling back into old habits as of late.

Funny how a single remnant of the past was enough to make Lucas regress.

The trip to Nowhere Islands was initially characterized by a tense silence. Corrin and Kamui, bless their hearts, tried to make conversation with everyone, but their attempts at small talk always faded back into silence.

Lucas glanced at Claus, wondering what he was thinking. His reaction to the mission announcement, or rather, his lack of one, had betrayed nothing of his feelings, but Lucas could instantly tell that he was less than thrilled. He didn’t even have to use his psionic abilities.

~~_ “It’s our special power: the Twin Sense!”  _ his brother used to say when they were younger. ~~

On the first night of their travels, Lucas stayed up. He tended to the campfire, watching the logs crackle and burn.

He wondered what Kumatora and Duster were doing. He looked forward to seeing them again, even if the three of them weren’t as close as they used to be.

He wondered what Flint and Alec were doing. He instantly got rid of the thought.

Another person sat down on the other side of the campfire. Lucas looked up and froze.

“Hey,” Claus said, almost nonchalant. Lucas could see that he was tense, though, as if bracing for a blow.

Lucas wanted to yell. He wanted to scream at Claus, make him understand all the pain he made Lucas go through. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to be furious.

He could only summon mild annoyance, however.

“You could’ve said that like, I don’t know, a month ago?” Lucas snapped.

Claus looked sheepish. “You kind of gave the impression that you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“So? That never stopped you in the past.” Lucas was way too tired for this right now. He didn’t want to sleep, though.

“I may or may not have changed, like people do,” Claus responded dryly. Lucas snorted.

“Well, I’ve changed a lot,” he retorted coldly. “Goodnight, Claus.”

Lucas did not look back when he entered his tent.

* * *

One of the benefits of being a cyborg was there was no need to sleep. Claus sat at the campfire, watching the flames die down into embers as orange as his hair.

Claus didn’t fit in. He knew that. He felt the isolation as soon as he joined. Team 6 already had an established dynamic, a bond that couldn’t accommodate another person. No matter how much Kamui or Corrin or Roy tried to integrate him into the group, Claus awkwardly remained to the side.

He was okay with this. Even though it hurt to see Lucas replace him with his teammates, he knew that was what he deserved. Lucas deserved to move on. Claus was supposed to be dead; he was only hurting his brother with his presence.

For the millionth time, Claus wondered why he was alive. He was dead, he  _ had _ been dead; he could remember his time in the afterlife with his mother clearly.

He sighed, dragging the untouched human hand he had across his face. He wasn’t looking forward to this trip to Nowhere. Returning to Tazmily would be incredibly awkward, considering a funeral had already been held for him. He’d even attended it, spiritually of course.

Again, Claus questioned how the ever-loving fuck he was alive.

It was possible that he wasn’t, and his awareness was just a super-complicated AI program, and his body was just another reanimated corpse. But Claus liked the idea of autonomy, so he turned his mind away from that direction.

_ Going back to Nowhere means going back to New Pork. _

Okay, he was definitely not gonna touch that part of his brain anytime soon.

Unfortunately, with nothing else to turn to, his brain came back to the question of his state of being.

If he had to be alive, why couldn’t he have returned with a normal, human body? Why did he have to be resurrected with the mechanical arm and eye he’s always hated? He even came back with the body of a 16-year-old, which meant some fucker thought it would be funny to torment him emotionally.

Which got him thinking about the last time he’d been emotionally tormented and now Claus was suddenly exhausted, despite the fact he didn’t have the needs of a normal human.

He still stayed by the campfire though, and the rest of Team 6 found him staring into the dead ashes in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> dont you just love it when half of your written work is crossed through because oh boy i sure do-
> 
> hey im back. it's been three months. im so sorry to ppl following my other works. im so sorry for vanishing and then coming back with an unfinished angst vent story-
> 
> anyway happy new years!


End file.
